Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Abandonment Guilt


Hiram finished his last final last night and within minutes of coming home came down with the same illness that James and Joey had last week. He had a rough night being sick and was still battling it in the morning. He decided to call in sick to work and stayed home. After staying at home for the past week I needed to GET OUT! Quite literally the closest I was to getting out was checking the mail.  Around noon I asked Hiram if he felt well enough to keep an eye on the boys while I went shopping.  He reluctantly agreed and I was off!  I felt like when I was a teenager and just got my licence.  It was wonderful to walk up the aisles at Hobby Lobby and not worry about little boys jumping out of the cart or grabbing at things.  I took my sweet time and browsed! Should I have felt guilty about leaving my sick husband at home with the boys?  Perhaps.  I went to several places and did things just for myself.  It was fantastic to not worry about anyone but me.  Was it selfish? Probably.  When I came home Hiram was in a miserable state. At the end did I feel guilty?  Yes. To overcome my guilt I have decided to cash in one of my two "I went through labor and delivery!" chips.  Now I look back on may day with delight! Actually, I regret I didn't buy a milk shake!

2 comments:

Elise said...

Brother and Sister Banana!

I'm so glad that Tess texted you for me today so that you could tell me about your blog!

Alanna, sorry the boys in your life have been sick. I'm glad you got to go shopping by yourself, though. I'm jealous. When I was texting you today I was in the produce section of Walmart trying to keep Chancho from licking everything. Shopping alone is such a luxury. Like a vacation.

Anyway, now that I've written you a novel.... Glad to see that you guys are doing well. Your boys are as cute as ever!

Lindsay Koelling said...

I am so glad you have fully transitioned into the blogging world. I love your posts. You are hilarious.